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View the full list Hear the word psychopath and most of us think of violent, dominant men.
When we split after a nearly 8-year marriage, he left with a suitcase packed with pieces of me: my pride, self-worth, hopes, dreams.
He didn't take those things using his hands; he took them using his words.fault.
It's also a popular tactic of emotional psychopaths.
I’ll never forget when I found out my husband was cheating on me because he accidentally left his email inbox open.
When I confronted him, instead of apologizing he exploded and began yelling at ME. Emotional psychopaths know they don’t have much going for them so they exert control over their victims in an effort to control the way they think.
After several days of unrelenting insistence that he wasn't cheating, I actually found myself questioning whether I'd made this all up in my head. Well, that’s your fault because you stress him out at home. Well, you made him so angry he got all heated up and caused a problem. It's obviously because you're such a horrible partner. (Because if you could think for yourself, you might realize how much better you deserve.) If they can pound into your head just how ugly/useless/pathetic/stupid you are, you'll start to believe it yourself and cling more tightly to him because you (incorrectly) think it's the best you can do.
And what they allow you to believe only serves one person: them.
Xanthe Mallett does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
University of Newcastle provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.
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This is important to acknowledge as female psychopaths can be just as dangerous as their male counterparts.